Between Two
by skygirl55
Summary: Everyone only has one soulmate...right? [Caskett Soulmate AU Circa Season 3/4]
1. Chapter 1

**Between Two**

Everyone only has one soulmate...right? [Caskett Soulmate AU Circa Season 3/4]

* * *

 **A/N** : As with many of my soulmate AU's I couldn't decide on which version to write, so I wrote them both: a Kate version & a Rick version. Each version is 100% independent of each other, though they do take place in similar AU worlds

* * *

 **KATE**

"Oh great; you're all here!" Ryan grinned as he strolled into the bullpen with a large stack of envelopes clutched in his fist. Using his best postal worker impression, he passed out the envelopes with an amusing level of fanfare. "Here you go and here you go and here you go."

Kate graciously accepted her rose-toned envelope and practically giggled at the sight of the beautiful script her name was written in. "Wedding invitations already?" she asked while sliding her index finger under the flap sealing the envelope. When Kevin had announced his engagement a month earlier he had informed them that he and Jenny didn't want to wait too long to get married, but this was impressively speedy.

"No, no—just for the shower," her clarified.

Castle's brow wrinkled as he gazed at his envelope, "Then why did we get one?"

"Yeah," Esposito chimed in, holding his envelope as though it was crawling with ants. "Showers are for chicks, bro."

"No we're doing a co-ed one; it's a new trend." Ryan explained. "It's kind of more like…two separate but simultaneous events. We'll eat together and then split up. The ladies will have their games and advice card reading fun and we'll go to a sports bar and hang out."

Esposito shrugged and placed the invitation on his desk, clearly accepting this explanation.

"Well I'll definitely be there," Castle said, sliding the invitation beneath his cell phone, which rested at the corner of Kate's desk.

The lone female of the group was the only one to open her invitation at that moment, but she hardly even noticed; she was busy reading about the event details. She skimmed through the date, place, and time, and then stopped at the bottom when she saw the statement, "In lieu of presents," with a website address below it. "What's this?" she asked her partner, pointing to the bottom of the invite.

"Oh yeah." Ryan gave a little shrug. "That was Jenny's idea—she got it from one of her friends. She said we're already living together, so we don't need a toaster or towels or something like that, but we could use money for this—the DNA match. You don't think that's tacky, do you?"

"Oh no," Kate assured him instantly, though in reality she wasn't sure. She didn't think it was tacky exactly; it made sense. If someone was going to buy them a twenty dollar present, they could just as easily donate the same value online towards Ryan or Jenny's match fee, it was more that match event in general she took issue with, but that wasn't Ryan's problem; it was hers.

"My cousin and her fiancé did that," Esposito chimed in. "Kind of weird."

"Not weird; romantic," Castle added positively. Then, he reached out and clapped his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "I have no problem helping you guys out."

"Thanks, Castle," Ryan responded, his grin returning.

The writer nodded and then gazed down at his partner. "You ready then, Beckett?"

"Oh right! Sure!" Kate startled. The distraction of Ryan's invitation had momentarily caused her to forget about the warrant they were supposed to be serving that afternoon. She quickly stood, collected her blazer and binder of paperwork, and then began moving towards the elevator. She remained so distracted by Ryan's invitation and DNA match donation request that she merely stopped in front of the closed elevator doors and waited without ever pressing the call button.

"You okay, Beckett?" Castle asked as he leaned around her to press the button.

"Wha—ah, yes; I'm fine," she fibbed. "Just thinking about our suspect." In reality, however, she thought about the marks imprinted on her wrist and how glad she was that the band of her father's watch hid them perfectly.

Beginning in the late twenty-first century, human evolution reached its pinnacle—at least, according to some scientists. Children were being born with distinctive markings on their left inner-wrists almost like random birthmarks, but they were much more significant. With further research scientists determined these markings, which were dense pinpoints that to the naked eye resembled a cluster of freckles, actually contained a DNA marker indicative of which individuals the possessor's DNA was most compatible to match with. In simpler terms: their best genetic match to continue the evolution of the human race.

As the decades wore on and more of these matches were formed the markers became colloquially known as Soulmate Matches for the match didn't simply have molecular significance, but emotional and romantic ones as well. As the marks were not exact, any given person's markers could be compatible with several others, so scientifically one single "soulmate" was not possible, but certainly matches would be stronger with some people than with others.

Throughout the twenty-second century, every child born had a DNA sample taken and mapped, which was stored in ad database. The government spent billions of dollars creating scanners that would read the marker on a person's inner wrist, deliver that to a computer, and have that computer spit out a list of most compatible matches. Soon, however, the government realized it was unable to handle the demand, so it farmed out the information to several dozen private companies, all of which began selling their matching services. Different rates existed for different results. Retrieving one of your topmost matches was the cheapest, receiving five a little more expensive, and so on, but most of the services started around two thousand dollars per person. A small price to pay for eternal happiness, most facilities boasted, but still a higher amount than some could afford.

Kate had no problem with Ryan and Jenny financing their results, but the fact that they'd chosen to get them after becoming engaged surprised her. What if—god forbid—their names were not in each other's top five? What if they weren't in each other's top ten? Would they still continue with their marriage? In her mind it seemed risky—too risky—which was one of the main reasons why she'd never sought out her matches. She didn't need markings on her wrist to tell her the man she was best suited for; she could figure that out for herself.

When they exited the elevator on the ground floor of the twelfth precinct, Castle visibly shivered as though cold water had been poured down the back of his shirt. "Thank god I got out of there—I was afraid I'd catch something," he said in an overly loud tone with a purposely cheeky expression.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

"Your skepticism—I was afraid I'd catch it."

"And what does that mean?"

"You hate the fact that Ryan and Jenny are asking for soulmate match money as their wedding shower present," he concluded wisely.

Kate bristled as they walked out onto the sidewalk. "I wouldn't say hate."

"But you think it's stupid, because you're a skeptic."

"Realist," she corrected.

He shrugged as they simultaneously opened the doors to her cruise. Gazing over the car's hood at her, he said, "As my mother would say: to-may-to, to-mah-to, darling."

She scoffed. Of course her partner would be a ridiculous over-the-top supporter of the DNA match. Honestly, she was surprised they hadn't discussed it at-length previously, but it had never really come up. Still, she could peg his opinion on the matter from a mile away. "Yes, yes I'm sure you got yours scanned the morning of your eighteenth birthday," she said, referring to the first day it would have been legal for him to do so. Of course if at that time his match was underage he would have been given a coupon dated for her eighteenth birthday, the first day he could legally obtain her name.

"Actually, I did not."

Once they were both seated inside she gazed at him in shock. "You've never been scanned?"

"I never said that. I have one name."

She turned her body to face his, bracing her left arm on the steering wheel, "No way—I don't believe you."

"Why?"

"Because you're you. A single name would never satisfy you—you have to know the whole story. No way you didn't pay for the full profile—unless you did it before you had the money…but then you would have just gone back after you did!" she rationalized.

He dipped his chin in her direction. "Touché. But if it's all the same, I'd rather not discuss it."

Kate felt her stomach clench from his expression. _Shit_. It was something bad—definitely something bad. Perhaps the woman he was matched with had died—maybe before they even met. Or maybe he'd met her and they had tried to make a go of it, but it hadn't worked out. Either way, there was definitely a reason for why Richard Castle was not presently in a relationship with his soulmate and she had dredged it up.

"Ah, yeah; sorry Castle."

He offered a small smile. "It's no problem; let's just focus on our suspect, shall we?"

She bobbed her head and turned on the car's engine. "Absolutely."

* * *

Castle smiled as he gazed out onto the dancefloor and spotted the newly anointed husband and wife cradling each other close and sharing a gentle kiss. He'd never seen either of them as happy as they were when they were exchanging vows. They were clearly deeply in love—perhaps not quite soulmates, but close enough. They had chosen each other and that was the most important thing.

Turning his gaze to his left, Castle caught his date for the evening also watching the bride and groom, soft smile playing on her lips. Castle's heart stuttered in his chest as he took in her beauty. He'd gazed at her hundreds of times, but somehow every time seemed like the first. She was exquisite in every way and in that moment he hoped more than ever that they would someday be the bride and groom dancing in the center of a room for all to see.

"It's sweet, right?" Castle spoke softly, nodding towards the dancing duo. "I'm glad they're happy."

She nodded and reached out for her champagne glass to take another sip. "Me too; I'm glad they didn't change their minds."

Castle huffed out a breath, shaking his head at his partner. When Kate found out that Ryan was fourth on Jenny's match list and he was fifth on hers, she almost immediately expressed to him that she feared this would be the end of their relationship. They had the other names—the names of the other people they might be better suited with. Her skepticism had actually sparked one of their longest and most in-depth conversations about the soulmate matches, though in the end neither really changed their mind on the subject. She was still uninterested in finding her match, and he had more faith in the system than ever.

Top match versus fourth match—what did that matter? Three people out of three billion were better matched; those were pretty good odds in Castle's mind. Besides, Ryan and Jenny had found each other organically, fallen in love, and _then_ retrieved their matches, so it made their relationship all the sweeter. Had he been in their situation, he would have done the exact same thing. Fortunately, he didn't need to worry about that, as his number one match sat just a foot away.

Castle pursed his lips in frustration as he studied her face. They'd come so far together, but her lingering pessimism was what had prevented him from revealing the truth. More than anything he feared her adverse reaction, even with the results printed on a paper that he'd carried in his wallet ever since.

Kate was proud and strong and stubborn. All those qualities (among others) were why he fell in love with her, but he feared they would ultimately be what kept them apart. He knew he'd only get one shot to tell her the truth, which meant he needed to pick his moment very carefully. The reception of Ryan and Jenny's wedding was certainly a plausible option, but he needed to dip his toes in the water first.

"I'm still not sure I understand why you think it's so terrible to know the name of your match."

She rolled her eyes and placed her empty champagne flute back on the table. "It's just not me, Castle."

"You don't see any fun in it at all? You don't think it would even be a little bit exciting? Like the first day of school or being at the crest of a rollercoaster just before you tumble down the tracks? Your heart would thrum with anticipation, your stomach perhaps a little nauseous, but that's all part of the experience!" While she appeared somewhat enraptured by his description, he reached out and placed his hand on her left forearm where it rested on the table. He flipped it and brushed the pad of his thumb across the spot typically covered by her father's watch, but was currently obstructed only by the slim band of a much more feminine and dressy timepiece.

"If you found out, you could—hey what…what's happening here?" He was unable to stop his inner thoughts from being voiced aloud when he gazed upon Kate's inner wrist for the very first time.

"Nothing." She tried to pull her arm away from him, but he held it fast.

"No it's something. It looks different than mine—and everyone's." Unlike a small patch of dots perhaps no more than a few centimeters in diameter, Kate had two similar spots that were slightly larger and stacked on top of one another; he had never in all his life seen a DNA marker like it.

She gave a little embarrassed shrug and said. "It is different."

He lifted his gaze, a bit dumbfounded. "I don't understand."

Finally pulling her arm away, she settled it in her lap and then dragged her teeth over her bottom lip. "I'm surprised you haven't read about this."

"About what?"

"I have two DNA profiles."

"Two soulmates? Not possible," he refuted immediately.

She rolled her eyes. "No because soulmates don't exist at all."

"Kate," he growled at her and she let out a light chuckle. Exposing her arm to him again, she pointed at the spot with her right index finger and explained.

"I was born with two profiles imprinted. It's pretty rare—one in a few million or something like that. No real reason why. It just…is."

He skimmed his fingers over his chin as he considered this information. On one hand he was positively furious with himself that he had not only not heard of this situation, but not researched it at length. It was so rare that he was caught off guard with new information, he felt as though he'd been knocked off balance. After taken a minute to recover, he continued with, "Is that why you never got it read? Because you'd have a longer list of people to choose from?"

"No." She replied, her tone clipped. "Long or short, one mark or two, I still have no interest in getting matched." She then stood and excused herself before walking away from the table with her purse in hand. Meanwhile, Castle remained, absentmindedly walking way, his brain still feeling as though it was spinning around inside his skull.

Kate had two profiles— _two!_ Which definitively meant that he was not her top match. At best, he shared the position with another man, but what if his ranking wasn't even that high? From what he'd seen in the past, the most successful couples fell somewhere within each other's top five. With Kate having two different match profiles, he might barely be in the top ten! With her at the top of his list, he doubted he would be much further down but—god—what if he was?

As he had been infatuated with her for three years and in love with her for over half that time, Castle had never considered a future in which he and Kate didn't end up together, particularly not after he'd received his match results. He'd been going through life knowing his happy ending resided with Kate and they were simply making their way through one of their rougher chapters, but once they officially got together it would be magic. Now, with that fate in question, he felt his life beginning to rock at its very foundation.

"Hey Castle."

The gentle if not completely besotted voice of Kevin Ryan interrupted the writer's thoughts and he startled a bit before turning to face the couple now immediately behind him. "Oh, hey guys."

"We just wanted to check in—see if you were having a good time."

"Oh yeah, absolutely." He forced a smile despite the searing ache in his heart. "Kate's just in the bathroom and then I think I'm going to talk her out onto the dancefloor."

"Perfect." Jenny chimed in as she wound her hands around her new husband's bicep. They shared a sappy smile before moving on to the next table to say hello. As they walked away, Castle's gut clenched.

What a selfish fool he was—thinking only of himself and how his well laid plans were falling apart without ever thinking about her. As much as he wanted Kate Beckett, he only wanted her if she wanted him as well. As he'd suffered through two failed marriages that was one lesson he had learned for sure: both people had to want the relationship or it would be destined for failure without hope of recovery. Though he believed he could make Kate happy, if there was a man that existed with whom she could be happier, he would step aside, however reluctantly, and allow her that happiness for that was what she deserved. Even though it would break him apart, he loved her enough to let her go—if that was what she needed; he only needed to think of a way to find out for sure.

* * *

Kate Beckett pounded on the door of Castle's loft so hard her knuckles burned, but she didn't care. It was barely past nine on that Sunday morning, which was probably too early to be showing up at his apartment without calling first, but again she didn't care. She didn't care because she couldn't wait another minute to shout, argue, and possibly cry at him for doing what he'd done—the absolute unthinkable. Lying for months—possibly years! God, she was so furious with him she could barely process it and she certainly couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Beckett?" Castle opened the door a bit sluggish, his hair clearly still mussed from sleep. She pushed past him into his apartment, stalked forward a few feet, and then spun around on the spot, glaring at him and flattening her arms over her chest. "Wha…" His gaze drifted from her face to her feet and then back. Yawning, he scratched at his right side and asked, "'s goin' on?"

"When?" she demanded, barely able to utter the word with the fury boiling in her chest.

"When what?"

"When did you find out?"

"When did I find what out?"

"When did you find out I was your—your match?"

"What match?"

"Your DNA match!" she demanded, nearly screaming that time.

Castle's eyes bulged in his skull and he began stammering. "What—you—how. God! You went!? Last night!? Why?"

"When, Castle," she demanded again, ignoring his question.

He shook his head at her. "What the hell, Kate? Last night you-"

"This isn't about me!" she spat at him, now more aggravated by the fact that he would not respond to her simple question. "Tell me how long you've known."

He groaned and raked his left hand back through his messy hair, but she was too angry to appreciate the gesture she normally loved to see. "Okay, okay, let's just—let's just go into the office so we don't wake my mother." He led the way and gestured for her to sit on the sofa, but she refused, knowing shed only stand and pace within a few minutes, so he sat on the plush arm and confessed, "It's, ah, been about a year."

A bitter laugh escaped her lips as her stomach flipped. Shaking her head, she gazed down at him in even more disbelief if that was possible. "And you never told me?"

"It's not that simple."

"No I'm sure you have a whole web of lies by now!" She snapped.

His gaze darkened and he spoke in a measured tone. "I understand that you're upset, Kate, and I'm not saying you don't have a right to be, but I never lied to you, Kate; never."

"Lying by omission is still lying."

"It's not like we sat around discussing soulmates or DNA matches. I think the first conversation about it was after Ryan gave us his wedding shower invitations."

"And you should have told me then!"

Arching his eyebrow at her, he challenged, "Oh really? Right after you basically said the idea was ridiculous and you were silently judging Ryan for wanting to get his match at all? Oh yeah—that would have been spectacular timing!"

She looked away, but said nothing, knowing he had a valid point but of course never wanting to admit it.

"Just please, sit down and I promise I will explain everything to you."

For twenty seconds she remained frozen, but then broke her resolve and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa from him, knowing she would not be satisfied until she heard his version of what happened, even if she was still very, very angry at him.

"It was last summer," he began, sliding down off the arm to sit properly on the sofa. "The summer we weren't speaking. After Gina and I broke up for the third and obviously final time and I was…I felt lost. I was hurt and angry at myself for making a decision I knew was a bad one. One day, after I'd started drinking around ten a.m. I was having a particularly dark afternoon and I just…went."

Kate pressed her lips together as the story did not match one she would have expected out of the mystery writer; he truly must have been in a bad place. "I still don't understand why you never got your matches before."

He gave her a wry smile. "Didn't want to ruin the journey. Thought maybe I'd find her on my own first then use the match as confirmation. In a way I did. I did," he repeated with more confidence. "When I…when I saw your name at the top of the list it was like everything fell into place and I felt stupid I hadn't seen it sooner."

"I was your top match?" she questioned; he bobbed his head. "Was Gina on it? Meredith?"

He shook his head. "The only other name I knew was Kyra's; she was number nine," he said, referring to his college girlfriend whom he'd previously dubbed as "the one that got away."

Though she found that mildly interesting since she had not known one other name on her list of twenty, she moved past it for it was not the most important thing they needed to discuss. "So then why didn't you tell me right away?"

He blinked at her. "Are you serious? You weren't answering my messages and seemed angry with me for a reason I still don't really understand. We weren't in a place for that at all—not even a little bit. I figure it would piss you off or scare you off and I didn't want either of those things; I knew we had to get our partnership back first."

"And…since then?"

He merely shrugged. "I just…I don't know—I thought you'd be angry or freak out because of your…commitment issues," he said in a tone just above a whisper.

Her nostrils flared despite the fact that he was calling her out with one hundred percent accuracy. "You still lied."

"I would prefer to call it strategic avoidance, but sure, okay—lied. I'm sorry for that, truly, but no matter how angry you are, you have to admit that you would not have handled it well if I showed up and put my results sheet in your face."

She looked away from him, unable to argue. She certainly would have reacted poorly if he'd turned up at the Twelfth after three months away and presented her with that, but in the eleven months since there had been plenty of moments when he could have told her and she—well, she still would have been startled and certainly afraid, but she wouldn't have been angry. "I just…I don't understand why you didn't try to tell me. Like last night."

"I was going to!" He insisted quickly. "Honestly I was—I thought that would be a good moment, a romantic moment, so I picked up your wrist and I was trying to find a way but then…then I saw and everything got messed up." He grumbled and turned away from her.

They sat in silence for over a full minute before he asked, "What's his name?"

"Who?"

"Your top match."

"You're my top match."

"Your other top match—for your other profile."

She gazed down at her lap as she said, "Randall Carlisle."

Castle laughed. "We have the same initials?"

Despite the serious moment, she offered a small smile as that was the first thing she had noticed as well. "Yeah, you do."

"How poetic," Castle commented with notable sarcasm and Kate's stomach flipped for the millionth time since she'd discovered the identity of her matches not ten hours earlier.

The prior evening she had been having a good time at Ryan and Jenny's wedding—a really good time. When she agreed to be Castle's date she hadn't been sure what it would entail, but he had actually behaved the perfect gentleman and they'd been having a nice time right up until the point when he had to be nosy and look at the DNA marker on her wrist. As it was a subject she most certainly did not want to discuss, she'd gone to the bathroom to hopefully break up their conversation. When she returned, she and Castle moved to the dancefloor, but something was off with him—she could tell. Twenty minutes later, he claimed he had a headache, apologized, and said he wanted to leave. She had no problem with that and wished him a good night, but as he left he said in reference to the bride and groom, "You deserve to be as happy as they are, Kate; I want you to be. I hope one day you get the chance."

His words had sent a chill down her spine she didn't quite recognize until she overheard a conversation between wedding guests talking about DNA matches and then her brain became fixated on the subject. She believed Castle's words had referenced her DNA match. He clearly was one of the individuals who believed that an individual's DNA matches were those with whom they would be happiest and thus the first step to her happiness was finding her matches.

Honestly, she wasn't sure what had made her do it. In part, it was because she had to walk past the late night matching shop front on her way to the subway. She'd also had quite a bit of champagne, but as she stared into the storefront, she felt the inside of her left wrist itch and she thought, "What the hell?" Worst case scenario she'd throw the results way on the subway platform's trashcan. Then, she'd seen the match at the top of her first list.

Kate had been most surprised that she actually wasn't surprised at all. Reading Castle's name felt like opening up his latest novel and looking at a dedication that mentioned her name; it was expected, familiar. Happiness began to swirl in her belly for several seconds, because she didn't need to fear the unknown of a man whose name she didn't recognize. She knew this man, trusted him, and befriended him. Then, as she innocently wondered where her name ranked on his list she felt the sensation of cold water being poured over her. Castle had already obtained his list and had presumably seen her name on it. Perhaps not at the top, but near it, and he'd never told her.

Shaking her head with residual bitterness she said. "I still can't believe I did it—even worse at one of those really expensive twenty-four hour places. The poor kid working the counter had no idea what to do about my double profile; he had to call his manager."

"Oh I was reading about those," Castle interjected. "Pretty rare stuff."

She hummed. "So I've heard."

"So you just got the list then? You didn't get the profiles? Randall Carlisle could be anyone."

"He's a DA in Boston; I went to the Twelfth and looked him up. I…ah, I actually haven't slept at all," she confessed. Then, she pushed herself off the couch, walked a few feet away from him, and then turned to face him again, her arms tightly over her chest. "See the thing is…the more I thought about seeing your name on top of my list, the angrier I got. After our conversation a few months ago from the way you were acting I thought your match had died or…or that you, I don't know, that you tried something and it didn't work out. I felt bad for you, Castle, but then…then when I realized that my name must be near the top of your list and you had never said anything to me about it I…" The words were caught in her throat, her brain fighting to keep them down, to protect her heart, but she knew she had to get them out no matter the cost.

"I figured you just didn't want me," she rasped out.

He stood from the sofa immediately. "God, Kate—no!"

"And I was so angry at myself," she continued, mostly ignoring his outburst. "Because that's not me—I don't do that. I don't wallow, I don't pine, I don't…let my heart get broken, but now…now I just feel like I'm going crazy because I have this information and it doesn't make sense and I don't know what to do with it and—and this is your fault! I never would have done this if—if you had—if you hadn't-"

"Hey stop; it's okay." He swiftly crossed the space that separated them, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and pulled her in close. He skimmed his hands up and down her spine smoothly and spoke gently with his lips just above the shell of her ear. "I get it, I really do. It's a lot of information to process all at once. And I'm sorry if you feel that I pressured you into finding your matches. That wasn't my intention."

"I know that," she whispered before finally settling her hands at his waist and leaning her head against his shoulder. "I just…I don't know what to do and I hate that feeling."

"I know. Might I make a suggestion?"

"Okay."

"Go to Boston, Kate; meet Randall Carlisle."

A bit stunned, she stepped out of his embrace and gaped at him. "Why would you tell me to do that?"

"Because you have to. He's your other match. You have to—to know who he is, to try and find out if he…if being with him would make you happiest."

Staring into his eyes that no longer shone in her reflection, but were clouded with concern, Kate felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. Suddenly, his strange behavior from the night before made perfect sense to her. He became withdrawn after finding out she had two matched profiles. Presumably he thought of himself as one of her matches, but she imagined he began to wonder if he was not her best match; that had been why he seemed so upset.

Kate wasn't naïve. She understood that Castle had some level of feelings for her, and always had. She knew they started as a crush, but as time wore on she wasn't sure how deep they ran. In fact, she was afraid to let herself think about or consider the notion as she still believed herself too closed off to be in a romantic relationship, but after he'd saved her from a sniper's bullet, she'd begun to make changes. In the prior six months she'd been as open with him as ever and had finally begun to allow herself to envision then with a future together. She'd always believed the DNA matches would mean nothing to her, but she did have to admit to being curious about who Randall might be. Still, he was a great unknown, and the man before her was her very best friend.

"Castle." She stepped up to him and raised her right hand to his cheek. "You really don't think that person is you?"

"I don't know."

A little annoyed by the fact that he was no longer extremely confident in his feelings for her, she asked, "Well what do you know? Tell me how you feel about this."

"I…" He sucked in a deep breath before gazing down at her. "I'm sorry I lied by omission; it was never my intention to hurt you, but I did, which makes me scared about what will happen to us next. I don't know if I've ruined our chances, or maybe I never had one. I am glad you got your matches, because neither of us should live in limbo, but I'm also certain you need to go to Boston and meet Randall, otherwise you'd be doing a disservice to yourself."

She stepped back from him, folded her arms over her chest again, and thought. As she was someone who took months if not years to warm up to someone, she did not believe she would wonder about Randall in a romantic sense, but he did have a point in that she would wonder about him as a person. As she shared his desire to know the full story, she would wonder what he was like and if the DNA matching system had been right or wildly off base when it had matched them together. That was a curiosity she didn't think she would easily suppress so she supposed she could go to Boston and meet him, but ultimately if she had no intentions to pursue something romantic with him, what would be the point?

"I…I don't know. I understand what you're saying, but I need time to think about it…and sleep." She added with a slight laugh.

He nodded. "Of course, Kate; there's no rush. You have to do what's best for you; I'll support you no matter what."

She smiled softly then leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for being my partner, Castle."

He blinked at her. "Always."

* * *

Sitting at his desk, staring at the blinking cursor in the document of his latest novel, Castle sighed. The cursor mocked him with its anticipation for the words would not come, and hadn't for three weeks. Not since Ryan's wedding; not since he'd discovered Kate's dual soulmate status. What a mess.

He was doing the right thing; he knew that. Letting Kate choose her own future and find happiness was unquestionably the thing he had to do, but it was also completely and entirely awful. He constantly felt like there was a brick in his stomach. He didn't want to eat; he didn't even want to move. He only wanted to lay on his couch, mope, and curse the universe for being so cruel.

When he heard the buzzing of his cell phone, he glanced down at it absentmindedly. The sight of Kate's face made his stomach flip and he quickly reached out and tapped the "decline call" button. She was in Boston for the weekend so he had no idea why she was calling him. It could have been an emergency, but if that was the case he knew she would text him. Otherwise, he wasn't too interested in speaking with her for he wasn't sure what he could say.

After taking a few days for herself, Kate ultimately agreed to his proposed plan and traveled to Boston to meet her other soulmate, Randall. He was sick for the duration of her forty-eight hour jaunt and when she returned and he asked her how it went, her only response was to say, "It was interesting." He wanted to shout at her and ask why she was being so cruel to him. Of course he could never accept such a basic response! Was she insane? But he also knew he needed to keep his distance; to allow her to make the right choice no matter how long it took and no matter how crazy it drove him in the meantime.

Castle stayed away from the precinct for the next week knowing it was best for his emotional health. He and Kate still texted to stay in contact and when she said she missed seeing him his spirits lifted. Then, she told him she'd be going to Boston once again and his hopes fell apart once more. Randall, the DA attorney with an impressive Google news feed, must have been as fantastic as Castle feared he would be. Maybe he and Kate had more in common with their background in law. Maybe Kate found him more attractive physically. Maybe he was—as horrified as Castle was to think it—funnier and made Kate smile more. Though he wished with all his heart for none of those things to be true, he knew he'd let her go if that was the case. At least, his brain had decided that; he was still working on convincing his heart.

"So now you're screening my calls?"

"Jesus!" Castle proclaimed, startled. Gazing up at the woman hovering in the doorway to his office he stammered, "Wha—how-?!"

"Alexis let me in."

He blinked at her. "Oh. Thought you were still in Boston."

"Took an earlier flight home, because we needed to talk and this is definitely an in-person conversation."

Castle winced and gazed down at his keyboard, his fingertips gripping the wood edge of the desk with such strength he thought it might crack. So this was it—she was going to "break up" with him before they were even together. He respected that she chose to do it in person, but he wasn't ready—good god he wasn't ready.

Sucking in a deep breath, he set his jaw and thought maybe he could save himself the heartache by doing what he usually did—crack a joke, deflect, and try to see the silver lining even though he knew there could never be one. Pushing himself into a standing position, he began walking around to the other side of the desk. "Well I'll save you the speech, Beckett—you don't have to say anything."

She arched her eyebrow. "Is that so?"

He shook his head and leaned back against the front of his desk. "No, you don't. I'm the one that encouraged you to go to Boston; I'm the one that told you to be with whoever made you the happiest."

"Castle."

"And I'm happy for you—truly—because if anyone in this world de—" Castle's speech was cut off by Kate swooping in and planting a kiss on his lips. She sandwiched his cheeks between her palms and sucked his bottom lip into her mouth while he remained frozen, too stunned to move.

A moment later when she pulled back, he had to remind himself to breathe. Huffing out a quick breath he asked dumbly, "What was that?"

She quirked an eyebrow in his direction. "Are you going to let me speak now?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Kate tossed her purse onto one of his guest chairs, shrugged off her coat, and draped it over the back of the same chair. Then, she slid her hands into her back jean pockets and gazed at him steadily. "Being with Randy the past few weekends was confusing. I know I didn't tell you much about him and I'm sorry for that—I was just trying to protect you, because I could see how hurt you were every time the subject came up. The truth is, he… If someone handed me a paper and told me to write a list of what I wanted in a boyfriend, I would have described him perfectly. The only exception is that I always imagined being with someone older and he's a year younger that me."

"Really? He looked older in his picture." Castle chimed in with little thought. When her brow rose, he felt a blush creep into his cheeks and confessed, "Ah…I might have Googled…"

She nodded. "It's just his beard, I think."

"Oh. Sorry—continue."

She lifted up her left hand in front of her to tick off all of his qualities. "He's from New York. Went to Stanford for his law degree. Followed a girlfriend to Boston. It didn't work out, but he became a DA and stayed there. He's actually exactly what I would have been if my mother hadn't been murdered—except for maybe the Boston part."

Castle tried not to visibly wince at the searing pain in his heart. No wonder Randy and Kate were soulmates—they had the same life path; the same life goals. The DNA matching system had succeeded once again. "That's nice, Kate."

"It was," she continued. "It was nice; really nice. We…we had some really good talks over dinner and a nice day at Fenway yesterday. He even kissed me in the parking lot as we were leaving."

That time, he did wince at the feeling his stomach might jump out of his throat and land on the rug between them at any moment. He was just about to ask why she was telling him all this when she continued.

"He kissed me…but all I could think about was you."

Castle's heart stuttered in his chest and he gasped audibly. When he regained his senses enough to focus his gaze on her, he saw she wore a soft, knowing smile. She took a step forward and bit down on her bottom lip; he felt his head go fuzzy once more, but struggled to maintain focus.

"After I said goodbye to him and told him I wouldn't be coming back, I went to my hotel room, changed my flight to first thing this morning, and then I sat there staring at my wrist for half the night. By morning, I'd come up with a theory. Would you like to hear it?"

His mouth too dry to form a word, Castle merely nodded.

She pulled her hands out of her pockets and held her left wrist up in front of her. After gazing it for a few moments, she turned back to him. "I thought…maybe I have two different profiles because I could have led two completely different lives. In one life, my mother would still be here, I would be a DA and Randy and I would be a perfect match. But that's not the life I have, and that's why I have the second profile, because," she paused, stepped up to him, and rested a hand on each of his shoulders, "in this life there's no one else for me but you."

"Kate." He half choked, half-gasped out her name, feeling utter disbelief. He'd been so afraid that she wouldn't choose him that he'd all but convinced himself of it in a futile attempt to avoid the pain, but she had chosen him and—god, was it possible? Had they finally arrived in the place he feared they never would?

He watched her study his face for a moment before she lifted her right hand, combed back some of the hair from where it had flopped against his forehead, and then cradled his jaw before leaning in for a kiss. Instinctively, Castle's hands found her hips and he spread his knees so he could pull her in-between them. They kissed again, and again, and, god was he dreaming? He wasn't sure how this bliss could be reality, not after three weeks of hell.

"Mm Kate wait." He pushed firmly on her hips to separate their lips when a realization hit him. "What you said—Randy…he's your perfect match on paper…"

The grin never left her face as she brushed her thumbs over his cheeks. "But don't you see, Castle? I would have been wrong." She shook her head and gazed up a bit wistful. "In another life…maybe; maybe we would have been right, but here and now? I was so, so wrong about what I thought I wanted—that's probably why I haven't had any meaningful relationships. I was looking in the wrong place. Thank god I found you."

A grin exploded onto his face and he pulled her close again, kissing her soundly and mumbling out without thought. "Mm Kate. I love you…"

"I love you, too."

"I—you do!?" he gasped, a bit startled that she had returned the confession that had slipped out without his permission.

Kate nodded. "I do and I'm sorry it took me so long to say it."

He shook his head, moving his hands so that they intertwined at the base of her spine and he could pull her body even close to his. "No, no—don't be sorry. It's all part of the story. Speaking of—I like our story, except for the part where your mother had to die for us to be together."

"I know…but you know I'd still believe a version of the story where she's here and so are you."

"Or where she's gone and you're with Ra—"

"Don't." She silenced him by pressing the pad of her thumb to his lips. "I'm meant to be with you—I can even prove it."

Endlessly intrigued and even a little surprised, he pulled back and asked, "Can you?"

She slid away from him and walked over to her purse. Opening it up, she dug through it for a moment before pulling out two pieces of paper that looked like cash register receipts, only Castle knew that they were not. He reached out excitedly for the match sheets, but she held them out of his grasp until she could organize them so they were side by side. Only then did she flip them around and say, "Our match points are higher than Randy's and mine."

"What?!" he squeaked out before plucking the sheets from her grasp. At the top of each he could see that while Kate and Randall had an 87.2% match, he and Kate had a 90.9% match. They were in the nineties! Though this thought made his chest swell with joy, he also couldn't help but be annoyed with her. "If you had let me see this before I wouldn't have been freaking out for the past three weeks!"

She shrugged, took the papers from his hand and put them back in her purse. "I know, but now we're even since you didn't tell me I was your match for almost a year."

Castle opened his mouth to rebut but then thought better of it. "That's fair." When she smiled at him, he pushed himself away from the desk, wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, and then bent over to scoop her up into his arms.

She let out a yelp of surprise and asked, "What are you doing?"

He took a step towards his bedroom and said, "I'm going to prove to you how I earned that extra 3.7%."

"Oh well then," she tightened her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder, "I can't wait."

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading - Part 2 will be up on Thursday.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Remember: Part 2 is completely independent from Part 1. It is NOT a continuation.**

* * *

 **RICK**

* * *

"Good morning, Detective Beckett. Beautiful day, isn't it? The sun is shining high in the cloudless sky, birds were chirping as I walked down the sidewalk and…I don't know." He sighed wistfully as he sat down in his unofficial seat beside his desk and grinned. "The day just feels like it's filled with infinite possibilities—doesn't it?"

As she gazed at him suspiciously, he began unloading the cardboard carrying tray in his hand, setting her vanilla latte in front of her keyboard and putting his venti mocha on the edge of the desk. After tossing the tray into the recycling bin, he unfolded the flap on the pastry bag he also carried, pulled out his bear claw, and munched down on it with a purposely embellished, "Mmm!"

"You need to take it down about six notches, Castle; it's barely nine a.m."

"So? Perhaps we should all start our days with such excitement; maybe then there would be less murders."

"Ah but then I'd be out of a job," she reminded with a pointed look. Then, after taking a sip of her coffee she turned to him and said, "Why is it that you're so chipper this morning? You're not doing anything interesting, are you? Say around…three o'clock?"

Knowing she was teasing him, he decided to play along with an innocent, "Oh? Have I mentioned my appointment to you?"

She tapped the bottom of her chin with her index finger as she mocked being in deep thought. "Maybe once, twice…or a thousand times."

"Come now, Beckett—I can't have mentioned it more than several hundred." He winked at her and she groaned. "It's okay—you can just tell me if you're jealous."

Kate set her coffee cup down with such force that some droplets of brow liquid exploded out of the small drinking hole and splattered on the desk. "Jealous!? No way; not even close. I have absolutely no interest in being in your position—ever."

He clicked his tongue in annoyance. "How can you even say that? Why would you _not_ want to find your soulmate?"

She scoffed and turned back to her computer screen, commenting, "Soulmates aren't real."

Hs heart clenched and he shook his head at her. "I hope you're just saying that because you don't want to admit to being jealous and not because you actually believe that."

Rotating her body towards his once more she said, "Actually I do believe that, Castle, because the concept of soulmates is sad. What if the one person you're 'destined' to be with lives in the remote jungles of the Amazon—you would have absolutely zero opportunity to meet them."

He waved his hand dismissively at her statement. "Please—the universe is smarter than that."

If the true reality of soulmates was as Kate described—that your match could be anyone in the world, including those who lived in remote places—he would agree with statement that the concept would be sad; however, he firmly believed that was not the case. In his opinion, Kate was taking the notion of soulmates far too literally, but he believed in a broader definition. How could his soulmate possibly be someone who lived in the Amazonian jungle? That would make no sense as he would have absolutely nothing in common with someone who had never experienced any of the same things he had. No, in order for a person to be the best suited for him, they certainly had to live in a major city—perhaps not New York, but probably one somewhere in the United States. They would have similar interests or maybe have even met in passing before, but Castle wasn't too worried about the details as he felt confident he knew exactly who would be at the top of his list.

"Ah, the universe." She teased. "I forgot how much faith you have in ridiculous and unknowable forces."

He winked at her. "That's half the fun of life, Beckett." She turned back to her computer screen and didn't say anything for over a minute, so he relented to her point of view. "Okay, okay—so you're not interested in getting you're matches; that's fair, but can you at least be happy for me?"

She turned and offered a smile. "I am happy that you're happy, Castle. This is just something I don't have very much interest in."

"That's fair." Rick wasn't aware of anyone other than Kate who wouldn't be excited about going to get their soulmate matches, but that certainly didn't mean she was the only person in the world to feel that way—and even if she was, she had a right to feel any way she wanted. Just because he disagreed with her did not make her feelings any less valid.

The concept of soulmate matching was perhaps a bit of a misnomer—or perhaps one used by those with romanticized imaginations and it had simply caught on as commonplace. In truth, not quite half a century earlier government researchers had discovered the ability to match a person's DNA with other DNA profiles in the government database with which they would be most compatible. Or, more simply put: they were trying to manufacture Darwinism and urge the species to find its best possible matches. Through various research studies it was determine that not only did these couples produce the best children, but they tended to get along extremely well as romantic partners and thus the soulmate concept had formed.

Of course this process was not only expensive, but lengthy, so twenty years earlier, after the program had been fully vetted and was approved for wide use among the population, the government began a lottery system of social security numbers. When your number was chosen, you reported to the nearest testing office, and samples of your DNA were taken. One month later, an appointment was set up for you to collect your results.

Four weeks earlier when Castle had received his lottery letter in the mail he had been admittedly obnoxious about it. The system was one that could not be manipulated by celebrity or wealth; everyone was on an even playing field and had to wait their turn. He was thrilled— _thrilled —_ that after forty-one years he would finally have official confirmation for what he believed in his heart: Kate Beckett was the woman he was meant to spend his life with. Of course he hadn't voiced such thoughts aloud, but he hoped that with the proof in his hand, he would finally be able to convince her to take the next step with him—and it would be wonderful.

"You know you didn't have to come in today, Castle. I mean, I would have understood," Kate said a few minutes later.

He smiled at her. "But I like being here. Besides, if I was at home, I'd just pace around my office and check the clock every thirty seconds."

She merely shrugged. "Okay, well I'm actually going to the morgue if you-"

"Shotgun!" He called on reflex but she gave him a perplexed look.

"Who else was I going to invite?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter now—I've already claimed the front seat."

She rolled her eyes, stood, and picked up her coffee cup. "Whatever; c'mon—let's go."

* * *

Shortly after nine p.m. Kate returned to her apartment from her yoga class and went immediately to the kitchen to find herself a snack. She debated several options before pulling a box of cheese crackers out of her pantry. As she munched, she absentmindedly scrolled through the email inbox on her phone to see if the warrant she requested had come through; it hadn't. Just as she was wondering what she would do for the two or so hours before she went to bed, she let out an audible gasp and quickly checked her text messages, thinking that surely she had missed one, but she had no unread messages.

"Huh," she said aloud. That was certainly…unexpected.

When she'd returned to the precinct sands her partner the boys had immediately begun speculating what Castle would do upon receiving his soulmate matches. Their best guess was that he would go home, research the woman at length, and then possibly even book a trip to go and meet her. She couldn't say she disagreed with their assessment as it sounded very Castle-like. While she might not have expected him to jet off that very evening, she had anticipated a celebratory message from him, which she had not received and thus she was concerned.

True, it was possible that Castle was so engrossed in his new found mate that he simply hadn't thought to contact her, but that didn't seem his style. Gloating was, however, and given how excited he'd been that morning, she had expected a text merely moments after he received his results even if that text only informed her that he finally knew the name of his soulmate.

Now concerned, she sent him a text message that asked, "You okay?" and waited impatiently for five minutes, but when he didn't respond she decided to take a quick shower in hopes that he would by the time she was done.

Upon entering the bathroom, Kate caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, stopped, and then stared at herself. Though she tried to ignore it, the uncomfortable tightness in her stomach that had begun that morning after she said goodbye to Castle remained and was actually as strong as ever. She gripped onto the edge of the sink and dropped her chin to her chest, giving her head a little shake.

Stupid. Irrational. Absurd.

These were all words she could use to describe the feeling in her gut—the one she was trying to ignore, but it wouldn't go away, as his lack of communication had only fanned its flames.

Though she tried desperately to deny it a small part of her worried that she might never see Castle again. Well, no, that was entirely irrational. She was certain he would parade his new soulmate around the precinct to make sure they all met her—there was very little chance he wouldn't do at least that—but after? Well, perhaps his soulmate would become his new muse—er, inspiration. Maybe he wouldn't need to shadow her for ideas. Maybe they'd never work a case together again.

God, she hated that she even thought the words, but she had. The last thing she wanted was to never work a case with Castle again, but she wasn't sure if it was because she would miss him as a partner or miss what they could have become if she hadn't been so foolishly afraid to open up her heart.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Kate walked back to the kitchen to check her phone one more time and was delighted to see that Castle had actually responded.

 _Of course. Why wouldn't I be?_

 _I was just concerned since I hadn't heard from you. Were your results were disappointing?_

 _I wouldn't say that. Confusing._

 _Did you get matched with a blood relative?_ She questioned in hopes of brightening his spirits, for she knew he had too few female blood relatives for that to be even remotely likely.

 _I was matched with two women_

"What?" Kate said aloud upon reading his text. _I didn't think that was possible_ , she responded.

 _Rare but possible, they said. Their results were_ _within one one-hundredth of a percent which is a statistical tie_

 _I'm sorry; you must be disappointed._

 _No I wouldn't say that but…can we talk about this tomorrow?_

Kate's face flushed upon reading his statement. Castle didn't want to talk about something? He must really have been upset then, which had her stomach clenching once more. Out of respect for his wishes she responded, _Of course; good night Castle_ , though she knew she would think about him—and what lie ahead—for the rest of the night.

* * *

The following morning Richard Castle walked in to the Twelfth precinct with noticeably less spring in his step. He still carried two coffees, but instead of being excited for the day to begin, he remained as conflicted as he had been the day before. He shook his head at the recollection of his behavior from the day before. What an idiot he'd been—practically gloating over getting the one true result that would set the course of the rest of his life. Now, he didn't even know what to think.

"Oh hey Castle; didn't think I'd be seeing you today."

Kate's smile brought him only half the amount of usual joy as he passed over her latte. "Yeah, well, I…I couldn't sit at home any longer."

She tilted her head to the side and asked, "Still thinking about your results? Honestly, Castle, I think you're putting too much stock in this. Just because you got two matches doesn't mean you'd be any happier with one over the other."

He knew she was trying to help, but in his morose state, he only felt worse. "Soulmate, Beckett; I'm only supposed to have one—that's how it's supposed to work!"

She flattened her lips, presumably trying to suppress her urge to argue about the concept of soulmates once more. Instead, she suggested, "Well…why don't you meet them both and see. That can't hurt, right?"

He huffed out a breath and shuffled his way towards her desk. "Well, see, that's part of the problem."

"Oh no, Castle—did something happen to one of your matches?"

He shook off her concerned tone and sat down by her desk. "No, no—nothing that dramatic. It…well, here. Might as well." He reached into the breast pocket of his blazer, pulled out a folded sheet of paper, and slid it across the desk surface towards her.

Kate looked at the page as thought it might detonate at her touch. "Oh, no, Castle—you don't have to show me."

"I want to. Please." He gestured towards the page and then held his breath when she sat down and picked it up. The sheet was folded in quarters and Kate undid the pleats meticulously. Then, she held it up in front of her face and her eyes instantly widened. A moment late she gazed over at him silent presumably from surprise.

Clearing his throat, Castle rested his forearm against the desk and leaned closer to her so he could speak in a low voice. "I knew I'd see your name—I was so convinced it wasn't even a question. That was exactly what I wanted, too—what I've wanted for years. I knew that we…we've been dancing around this thing, neither of us wanting to talk about it for fear of the same thing, I believe: what if the other person doesn't feel the same? Or, worse, what if it doesn't work out? But the past three months, ever since you broke up with Josh, it just…it feels like we're getting closer—like we've been moving towards that place. I thought getting the letter about my matches was a sign, because I know you—you want facts, evidence. I thought I could show you this and you'd see that you don't have to be afraid and that our relationship is practically a guarantee, but then…then I saw the second name and I…I'm still surprised."

Completely and utterly stunned actually seemed a more appropriate descriptor. When Castle had been handed his results sheet he'd stammered out half a dozen nonsensical syllables before demanding an explanation as to how he could have two results. The representative calmly explained that around one percent of people had two matches that were too similar to rank separately; they were statistically identical. The woman's pleasant demeanor did nothing to assuage the firestorm of emotions taking place in Castle's chest and he fired more questions at her, but she repeatedly assured him that either woman would be an appropriate match for him.

For the next several hours, until it grew dark outside, Castle roamed aimlessly around the city, still barely able to process the sheet of paper in his hand. He should have been thrilled, for the one name his heart dreamed of more than any other was on the list. But now he had also another and because of his nature, he could not help but be interested as to whom Melanie Baker might be.

Kate calmly set the paper down on her desk and drew her hands down into her lap. "You looked her up, I assume."

"She lives in San Francisco and she's a nurse."

Kate arched her brow at him. "You didn't book a plane ticket?"

"Why would I do that?"

"She's your match."

"And so are you." He countered. He would never deny being curious about Melanie, but the turmoil inside his gut was not about how he was going to choose between them, but how he was going to suppress the curiosity of never meeting her; never discovering who she was, because as far as he was concerned there was no point to it for he didn't believe it was possible for him to fall as hard for anyone as he had for Kate.

The stubborn detective shook her head and pushed the results page back in his direction. "You need to meet her, Castle; you have to. How else will you know if she's—that she's not—she could—"

"Hey." As Kate's voice trembled with emotion, Castle reached out his right hand and closed it around her left bicep. She turned away from him obviously trying to hide her glassy-eyed expression, but he'd seen the emotion in her face and that was enough to know he was making the right decision. "Don't cry, Beckett; don't be upset. I'm not going anywhere. I got the result I wanted; I'm done."

Kate opened her desk drawer, pulled out a tissue, and swiped it beneath both of her eyes, and then dabbed it under her nose. Once she'd collected herself, she turned back to face him. "You're not done. I know you—you have to know the whole story. It's what drives you. It's what makes you you. It's….it's what makes you the best partner I could ha-have."

As her voice broke on the last word, Castle could stay apart from her no longer. Even though they were in the bullpen, he still moved from his seat, to crouch beside her chair. His right hand remained on her bicep and he landed his left on her knee, which he squeezed. "Kate, listen, I-"

"You need to meet her," she insisted. "I want you to."

"But I-"

"Hey Beckett, that warrant you—oh." Ryan stopped a few feet from Kate's desk and glanced between them. Castle quickly stood and tried to look casual, but by Ryan's expression he had clearly failed. "I-I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something? I can just-"

"No it's fine." Kate insisted, clearing her throat and getting back down to business. "You said something about a warrant?"

"Ah, yeah, it just came through."

"Great, then we'd better go. Castle?"

"Ah, yeah," he said a bit dumbly as he watched her collect her blazer and paperwork file. Clearly, their discussion was over for that moment, but he suspected it would continue later. "Yeah—I'm coming."

* * *

"You're going," Kate said as she walked into Castle's loft later that day. They'd parted ways at the precinct in the mid-afternoon after their latest suspect confessed. Kate needed to deal with paperwork, which was always Castle's cue to exit, but she made him promise they would continue their discussion later—in private. "Don't even bother arguing with me—you're going to San Francisco; you have to."

Though every time she thought about it Kate could feel the bile rising in her esophagus, she knew there was absolutely no question about whether or not Castle had to meet his other match. He had to otherwise any potential relationship they would have would be tainted before it even began. He would always be wondering what she was like, and Kate would always wonder if she was not the woman who could make him happiest.

As he shut the door behind her, Castle huffed out a breath. "Okay, fine; I'll go, but under one condition: I want to know how you feel about this. Honestly. No more hiding."

Once again Kate felt her stomach flip as revealing her true feelings was one of her least favorite things to do. Worse, she wasn't even sure how she felt.

First thing that morning when Castle had explained to her his thoughts on his soulmate match, she knew he'd been right about them—at least, insofar as how things had been going lately. Ever since she broke up with her boyfriend of six months when he decided to go on a yearlong Doctor's Without Boarders trip she had been migrating progressively closer to her writer friend. With Josh out of the picture she could finally admit the real reason she'd been with him: because he was a safe choice. He was the exact type of man she thought she should be with—one practically opposite the man beside her.

The problem was: Josh didn't make her heart flutter every time she saw him. Josh didn't make her laugh so hard her belly ached. Josh didn't make her long for his touch even if it was only the brush of their fingers as they exchanged coffee cups.

Her heart wanted Castle, but she also knew he was the type of man who needed a woman who was open and affectionate—one who didn't live with one foot out the door. She wanted to be that woman for him, but she needed time, and perhaps a little more faith. Castle was right when he guessed that seeing her name on his list would nudge her in the right direction. It had been both surprising and not, reaffirming the thing she was afraid to believe in, but with two names on his list there was only one clear way of moving forward.

"I…I guess I'm scared and a little upset."

"Upset because we're matched?" he asked, practically cringing.

Kate stepped forward and gripped onto his forearms with both of her hands. "No, no—not at all. You were right about us the past few months—I've been trying hard to get to a place where I could be open enough to deserve someone like you. I've been closed off for so long that sometimes I…" She shook her head as a betraying tear slipped down her cheek. "Sometimes I'm afraid that I never will be; that happiness isn't in the cards for me and that makes me think that maybe you'll meet her, Melanie, and you two will be—you'll hit it off and I'll just…Maybe I—maybe I'm not—"

Before she could ramble any more, Castle quickly dipped his head and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was a bit awkward and surprised Kate to the point where her hands fell away from his arms. He used that opportunity to pull back, cradle her face, and then lean back in for a proper kiss. Kate could feel the strength in her legs weaken as his tongue stroked the seam of her lips and she let out an involuntary whimper. She parted her lips and took him inside, kissing him properly for the first time and, god, this was what real first kisses were supposed to be like: perfect and leaving her craving for more.

A moment later, Castle pulled back, bumped their noses together and then sighed out, "You are, Kate; I know you are."

A few more tears fell down her cheeks and she settled her hands at his waist. He could assure her for hours and days, but she would never change her mind about their reality. "You still have to go, Rick."

He sighed, lifted his head, and pressed his lips to her hairline. Then, he pulled her in for a hug and sighed out. "I know."

* * *

"Hey, thanks for coming." Castle swiftly stepped aside so his guest could enter the apartment. He'd texted her on his way back from Newark and was glad she could come right away.

"Ah, sure. I, ah, I thought we'd just meet up tomorrow so you could have a chance to, you know, adjust to the time difference and all."

He shook his head. "No I slept on the way back; I'm fine."

Kate nodded and followed his lead on the way to the sofa, where they both sat. They remained silent for around thirty seconds before Kate said, "So, ah, what's she like—Melanie?"

Castle nodded at the memory of the woman he first met for coffee and subsequently had dinner with. "She's interesting. She's, ah, just a few years younger than I am and she works as a nurse as I said—she's an ER nurse, actually; she saves lives." He paused while Kate gave him a measured smile, then, skimming his hand over his jaw, he continued.

"She has a bit of a sad past, actually. She's a single mom because her husband was killed in the line of duty—he was a firefighter. Her son, Pat, is eleven and is super into video games and comic books so, you know, sounds like an awesomely nerdy kid."

"Right." Kate chimed in with a breathy laugh.

"She told me that recently she'd been taking care of her sister who had cancer—she actually took a leave of absence from work to do so—but unfortunately her sister passed away about six months ago and she's been trying to get back on her feet ever since by working extra shifts, long hours, barely seeing her son—all so she can save lives."

"Well, she sounds pretty incredible to me."

He nodded before voicing aloud the thoughts he'd had in his hotel room after their meal together. "She sounds like it, yeah. And I…I guess I could see it—being inspired by her and the work she does, helping her out, easing her pain…"

"Then you should," Kate said with almost surprising strength in her voice, but Castle immediately refuted.

Sliding closed to her on the couch he placed his hand gently on her forearm. "No, I shouldn't. The thing of it is, Kate: I actually made this decision a long time ago without ever even thinking about who my DNA match might be. In my mind, that was secondary to what I knew in my heart after getting to know you. I feel in love with you and who you are and who I am when I'm with you. I want you, Kate; _you_."

He heard her take in a shuttered breath and when she shut her eyes a tear dripped out of each. He lifted his hand to brush them away with his thumb, but she merely shook her head and whispered out, "But what if I mess up? What if I break your heart?"

Stroking the pad of his thumb over her cheek he said, "You won't; you won't—the fact that you're worried about it means you won't."

She opened her eyes again and looked more afraid than she'd ever seen him. "I want you to be happy, Rick," she whispered to him.

"I am. You make me happy every day—even if it's just by smiling. You and Melanie have the same match percent which means the choice is up to me and I'm choosing you. I'll always choose you—always."

At his words, Kate instantly began to cry, crumpling her body forward and covering her face with both hands. He left his hand on her shoulder, not sure what to do for almost a full minute before tentatively saying her name. In response, she turned and threw her arms around his neck, pulling their bodies close together.

Laughing with relief, Castle pulled her close and rolled back against the couch cushions so they were in a half-reclined position. He kissed the top of her shoulder several times and sighed out, "Kate…I love you."

Her body trembled beneath his and she whispered out, "I love you, too."

Thrilled and more than a little emotional, Castle turned his head and kissed her ear, then her cheek, and then trailed his kisses progressively closer to her mouth until he captured it and held her close. His hand roamed her back until he found the hem of her shirt and could slide it beneath. Just when he reached the clasp on her bra she pulled back, breathless.

"Wait no—sorry." Shaking her head she said. "I'm sorry—it's just too much for me right now. Can—can we just cuddle a little bit?"

He grinned at her uncertain tone—as if he would ever complain about cuddling with Kate Beckett. "Of course; of course."

They rearranged their positions on the couch so that Kate sat beside him with her body braced against the wall of his chest and her legs draped over his lap. He had one arm around her back and the other across her shins, knowing he would hold her close for as long as she let him.

For the better part of five minutes they remained silent until Kate let out an audible sigh and traced one of her fingertips over the edge of his collar bone. "Thank you, Castle."

"For what? Picking you?"

She lifted her head and he could see a playful smile on her lips. "No, for everything you do. For being you."

He kissed her gently. "Thank you for being you, too." Then, he pulled her in close again, shut his eyes, and leaned his head against hers knowing they were going to be happy for the rest of their lives.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading!


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